Five Ways to Be Annoying on Twitter

Over the years, Twitter has proven to be a valuable, and sometimes vital, tool in many people's personal lives, as well as in business and entertainment.  However, like many social networking sites, Twitter has its share of addicts, fame whores, and people who just don't understand it.  Study my top five annoying things people do on Twitter to avoid costing the site an awful demise, a la Myspace.

1.  Tweeting About Nothing/Too Much Tweeting

Example:  
vidgamestonerdude459278   making a sandwich...sandwiches are so good after a long game of warcraft...

ilovepumpingiron35892  taking a shower

lilmsworkaholic8724  Going to work!

No one cares about the boring, mundane aspects of your daily life.  Social Networking sites are meant to connect people.  Write about things that engage your readers, not things that make them yawn.

Avoid boring your followers by limiting the number of tweets you send out per day.  This will ensure your page is full of the most interesting and exciting parts of your life.

2.  Following People You Don't Know, Will Never Know, & Who Are Not Even Celebrities

Example:
lonelypariah734269  follow @coolkid83354, @vidgamerxx83490, and @hotcamgirl06906969 #followback

Here's the honest to goodness truth - the people who follow you that actually know you in real life think you're crazy.  And annoying.  And will eventually decide to unfollow you.  Talking to people online that you've never met is normally okay (as long as you are careful about giving out personal information, of course).  But none of your real friends want to hear about it.  And no one likes their timeline to be completely dominated by you and your cyber friends that they do NOT want to follow back.

Avoid pissing everyone off by finding your friends' Twitters through your other social networks and in real life.  Post on message boards and follow the people you really enjoy interacting with.  Do not, under any circumstances, promote them using a hashtag (see rule #5).

3.  Shameless Self-Promotion

Example:
bloggergrrrrlxc423  check out my new blog on lil baby manatees!
bloggergrrrrlxc423  just wrote another one on lil baby squirrels!

hollywoodstarlet73248  Make sure to watch my show tonight at 10pm!
hollywoodstarlet73248  And pick up a copy of my new album too!  It's on iTunes!

Bloggers, actors, musicians...we all gotta make money, honey.  But Twitter is a really awkward place to announce your desire for cash, fame, or both.  First of all, being Internet-famous is not really famous at all, and can actually be kind of creepy (see Tila Tequila).  Secondly, if you really are famous and have to constantly remind your fans to tune into your show or buy your album, they're not really fans at all.  And if you run a website or blog, you should know that most of your traffic comes from search engines, not your Twitter followers (check your stats).

Avoid sounding desperate by creating a fan Twitter or Facebook page if you own a business, are a person of interest, have a website, etc.  Encourage your followers to follow that page (encourage means post ONE update...).  This way they will be prepared when their timeline gets flooded by you and your shameless tweets.

4.  Drunken Lullabies

Example:
iloveemoandwhiskey0987  but you've already lost when you only had barely enough to hang on...
iloveemoandwhiskey0987  you spend half of your life trying to fall behind/you're using your headphones to drown out your mind
iloveemoandwhiskey0987  it was in the march of the winter when i turned 17/that i bought those pills/i thought i would need

Who doesn't appreciate poetry, and art, and whiny love songs every now and again?  I believe that the latter is best enjoyed alone.  Of course we've all done it.  And of course we've all followed someone who does it.  But let's face it, it's irritating.  Most of your followers have never heard most of the songs you tweet about, and most of the time, you're too drunk and sad to care about getting the lyrics right anyway.

Avoid looking like a brokenhearted, drunken mess by posting a YouTube video of the song that's stuck in your head if you're having a really emo night.  This will give your followers a chance to actually hear the song, and they won't have to dig through your jumbled tweets to understand the song.

5.  So0oo0o many...#hashtags

Example:  
randmcnally34759  looking at a #map and planning my route for #springbreak2011 woooot!

lilmissprincess24902  my mom bought me a #tiffanys bracelet today! #momsrule

vegangrrrrl232  I refuse to support the #meatindustry! #animalrights4lyfe

Seriously, this trend really needs to be addressed.  Every few tweets or so, I don't mind throwing a hashtag in there to help me connect with my fellow Twitterers.  Hashtags are not, however, mandatory - or even encouraged in EVERY.  SINGLE.  TWEET.

Avoid being extremely irritating by using hashtags when referencing huge events that the rest of the web will be buzzing about.  i.e.  #AcademyAwards, #Election2012, etc.

Happy Tweeting!

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